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i don't usually write about my relationship publicly. but i feel like… there's...

i don”t usually write about my relationship publicly. but i feel like… there”s something vaguely amusing about my current situation.

a situation where two ppl enter a relationship. both are somewhere on the ace spectrum. neither identifies this way, though.

four years in, we”ve finally hashed this out and figured out what”s what.

(i was worried that he wasn”t attracted to me anymore bc how frequently we had sex seemed inversly related to how femme i presented)

now, that”s one insecurity out the window. and its definitely a relief.

like. i don”t really think ppl have to ID one way or another. but this is one of those cases where i do understand how/why these labels can be useful, since they kind of short code for setting some basic expectations and boundaries.

it”d have been nice to have been spared the two years or so of insecurity. but. it wasn”t that bad bc it wasn”t about the sex itself, for me.

(amusingly, i think on okcupid we had both answered the question for preferred frequency of sex per week as ‘3-4 times” when the reality is maybe… idk, twice a year at this point? lol.)