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This past weekends word festival thing that I was participating in, is (I think) the first time I...

This past weekends word festival thing that I was participating in, is (I think) the first time I didn”t bother trying to appear neurotypical.

And, tbh, it felt pretty amazing. Amazing to take myself and my own needs seriously in a way that I”ve never done before. I played spider solitaire pretty much everywhere and all the time (even during my own panel I was playing solitaire).

It helps keep me focused on the discussion. And by giving me something I like to focus on, it helps deal with all the extra sensory stuff that was going on.

But also… I didn”t shake anyone”s hand. I fucking hate that. Hands creep me out and I don”t like touching strange ppl”s hands. So I didn”t. When people reached out to shake I usually said, “sorry, i don”t shake hands”.

This was met with differing reactions. Some ppl seem to be quite bothered by it, while others were okay. Not that I cared either way, since I didn”t have to touch anyone”s hand and that makes me happy.

No one really talked to me after any of the things I did. And I honestly can”t bring myself to care all that much. I”m sure I seemed unfriendly and whatever to a lot of ppl. And I just don”t care.

I do care about making an effort at work… but even there I”m starting to relax things. I”m already unemployable so who gives a fuck if people think I”m rude and unfriendly?

shrugs